Blushing brides in elaborate gowns, halls filled with flowers, music and dancing...these are things we typically associate with a wedding. But, weddings in Indonesia are a whole different experience. We were fortunate enough to have a window into Javanese culture during a reception for our nanny's daughter last Sunday in her kampong (or village) here in Jakarta.
Maybe it was the loud music, the hot spicy air or just my general confusion as to what to do, but our arrival was quite interesting. An eager lady paced up to me with both hands out and a huge smile. I quickly put up my hand and motioned no; I was not ready to hand my daughter over to a stranger. Instead we made our way to a reception line of parents. As we moved along I noticed that everyone was shaking with both hands. It was then that I realized the woman had not been asking to hold Ameila, but instead wanted to welcome us! Luckily this was our only cultural mismatch!
After we met Sulasmi, our nanny, she ushered us to the food line. We wanted to wait, but then realized it would be rude so we both dished up bits of rice, chicken, and some spicy beans before taking a seat. I took a few bites and decided that the spices might be too much for Amelia and passed my bowl to Jim, who out of respect finished them both...what a good man! We sat and enjoyed the event. The music was quite nice and we liked watching people. It was funny to us that everyone arrived, shook hands, got food, sat in rows and then left. It was so different from what we know as a reception. But it was a nice time all the same.
The best part for me was seeing the wedding costumes. The bride had an elaborate head piece on and the mother of the bride wore flowers on her head scarf. Everyone really looked lovely. Even the fathers had batik sarongs with swords tucked in back. Apparently the wedding couple wears white for the ceremony, red for the day time reception, and gold for the night party. Below are some photos so you can enjoy the sights for yourself.
Afterwards, Sulasmi took us to see her house, which was very spacious for Indonesian standards. She showed us that her sister lived next door. We got to meet many of her relatives. She told me yesterday that everyone commented on how they thought we looked like movie stars - which is just too funny! Jim's height also made for a lot of conversations about the "bouleys."
Unfortunately, we tried to get a photo with the wedding party, but the man who took the photo didn't hold down the button. We did not want him to loose face, so instead we are hoping to get a copy from the photographer. He snapped lots of photos of us because we were the only non-Indonesians in attendance.

The Wedding Party: parents of the bride, happy couple, parents of the groom
Sulasmi, or Mimi, our nanny and her husband

rows of well wishers


walkway in the kampong (or village)